Distinguish yourself through a unique style of communication

What is your communication style and can you improve it to create the most positive impression on others? In Understanding Your Communication Style, Ruth Sherman defines three basic communication styles¹:

• Aggressive: Close minded, Poor listener. Has difficulty seeing the other person’s point of view. Interrupts. Monopolizing. Frowns. Squints eyes critically. Rigid posture. Critical. Loud. Yelling tone of voice. Fast, clipped speech.
  • Effects of this style: Alienation from others, and pays high price in human relationships.
• Passive: Indirect. Always agrees. Doesn’t speak up, Hesitant, Sighs a lot. Tries to sit on both sides of the fence to avoid conflict. Clams up when feeling treated unfairly. Complains instead of taking action. Lets others make choices. Has difficulty implementing plans.
  • Effects of this style: Builds dependency relationships. Doesn’t know where he or she stands. Slowly loses self-esteem. Promotes others’ causes.

Assertive: Effective. Active listener. States limits, expectations. No labels or judgments. Expresses self directly and honestly, Interested facial expression. Direct eye contact. Confident or relaxed posture. Vocal volume appropriate, expressive. Varied rate of speech. Check on others feelings.

• Effects of this style: Increased self-esteem and self-confidence. Feels motivated and understood. Others know where they stand.

Obviously, the assertive style is the one to aim for, however, build on these characteristics to create a unique style that set you apart from others. Below are a few communications tips to consider: 

• Be personable. Get to know your audience and tailor your message and approach to their interests and needs. Figure out what interests them. Seek to help resolve a problem, provide targeted information, or entertain. Strive to be of service to others.
• Sharpen your creativity skills to enhance you communication style and image. Find ways to be bold and different but align your actions to your audience interests and need.
• Pay close attention to details. Find ways to go the extra mile and show you really put effort into communicating with others.

Ruth Sherman, Understanding Your Communication Style, Ruth Sherman Associates, LLC,  http://www.au.af.mil/au/awc/awcgate/sba/comm_style.htm

To be stylish, focus your wardrobe on comfortable, timeless classic pieces

 A critical part of Image Development is creating a positive memorable personal style; how you physically look and feel.   First impressions are lasting and hard to change. Unfortunately, many people create opinions and perceptions based on your external appearance. We recommend you consciously direct and manage your personal style to align with your goals and aspirations. Create a look that will get the response you are looking for in your personal life, work, and business. The key objective is to be successful; don’t let your personal style get in the way.

 The beginning of each New Year is the perfect time to conduct an extensive audit on your wardrobe.  Take time to survey your closet and carefully select pieces that you really like, are in good condition, and wear regularly. Be honest with yourself. Cut emotional ties to items you haven’t been able to get into for years. Choose items that make you feel and look great.  Keep these items, remove everything else and immediately give them away to a charity like Salvation Army.  

 Next, plan to refocus your wardrobe on comfortable, timeless classic pieces. Add classic quality items to your wardrobe first.  The anchor of your wardrobe should be pieces that will not go out of style and are of the highest quality. Less in more. Purchase a few choice pieces that you really like, fit perfectly, and will wear. Classic pieces for work include: the button down white shirt, black suit, black shoes, trench coat, quality leather bags/briefcases, and smart accessories. Don’t forget to round out your wardrobe with pieces for special occasions and play. Once your anchor pieces are in place, add a few trendy fashionable items and a splash of color for fun. Now it’s time to go shopping. Enjoy rebuilding your wardrobe and developing your personal style.

Use Makeup to paint your Image

Image Development Step #13: Apply Makeup to maximize your best features and let your true inner beauty shine through.  Use Makeup to paint your Image.  

Study your physical features.  What do you like about your face; do you have beautiful skin, great eyes, gorgeous lips, striking lips? You must find something you like and avoid focusing on perceived flaws and imperfections. Concentrate on your best features and find ways to make them pop.

The primary purpose of makeup is to highlight and enhance your natural beauty. Try not to pile on or hide behind makeup. Apply makeup to maximize your best features and let your true inner beauty shine through.  You should aim for a fresh and natural look by using quality light-weight cosmetics that allow your skin to breathe and create a soft healthy glow. You are a master artist and your face is the canvas. Pick up a brush and use makeup to paint an image that truly reflects who you are at the core.

Conduct an Image Assessment

Image Development Step 2: Conduct an Image Assessment. Do you have the attitude, skills, and style to get you where you want to go?

Do you have the goods required to achieve your goals? What is working for you and what has to change? What are your strengths and weaknesses? To answer these key questions, complete an Image Assessment to evaluate your personality, attitude & beliefs, skills, and style. 

During the assessment,  determine your personality style and characteristics; identify things that influence and motivate your behaviors in specific situations? Are you serious, quiet and reserved, kind and sensitive, reflective and idealistic, analytical, determined, creative, idealistic, traditional, organized, people-oriented, fun-loving, assertive? Learning more about your personality can help you gain better knowledge of self, improve interpersonal relations with others, and increase your probability of success.

Analyze your attitudes, values, and beliefs and reflect on how they are impacting your ability to achieve your goals. What are your likes and dislikes? Do you have a positive attitude about life and your chances for success? Are your core beliefs helping or harming you? To learn more about attitudes, values, and beliefs read: Dolores Albarraci, Blair T. Johnson, and Mark P. Zanna. The Handbook of Attitudes. Lawrence Erlbaum, 2005

Take an inventory of your skills and assess your proficiencies. What Technical or Business Skills do you have? Do you possess Basic Skills: Active Listening, Critical Thinking, Speaking, and Writing? How are your Social Skills: Negotiation, Persuasion, and Social Perceptiveness? What skills do you need to acquire?

Your personal style is displayed through clothing, hair, makeup, and accessories. What is your personal style: Natural, Classic, Romantic, or Creative? What image are you projecting to the public?

This assessment will aid in developing a comprehensive Image Makeover Plan.

Determine who you are and where you want to go?

In today’s economic climate, the impact of your image and personal brand is critical to the success of your business and career. Celebrities, athletes, and politicians have been developing and nurturing their pubic image for ages. Now,  anyone interested in influencing others and making money should determine the image required for their personal success. Let’s be clear, we are not talking about a fake, plastic, phony image. We recommend you focus on presenting an image that clearly represent who you are, what you do, where you want to go, and what you want to be known for. In the next series of blogs, we offer steps, tips, and recommendations on ways to create a personal brand and Make yourself Memorable.

Image Development 101

Step 1: Determine who you are and where you want to go

Reflect on who you are really. Grab a notebook and answer the following questions truthfully:

• Who are you at the core of your being; deep in your soul?
• What do you enjoy doing?
• What are you passionate about?
• What are your strengths?
• What are your core skills?
• If you could not fail, what would you do?

 Determine where you want to go in life by answering the following questions:

• What are your short and long-term goals?
• What are your personal goals?
• What are your career and/or business goals?
• What would you like to accomplish in life
• What legacy do you like to leave the world?

 The answer to these questions should help shape  the most effective and powerful image. This is the single most important step in an Image Makeover.